AS A BLOG POST - This is a summary of how you responded to your peers comments in your own revisions. Please state what criticism you found valid and included and which criticisms you did not use and why. This summary should also mention any revisions you made on your own.
-I am always insecure with writing, so I wanted to make sure I asked if my thesis was present and strong enough.
The criticism I received on that topic was that I could move a paragraph closer to the beginning of the introduction to use as my thesis/support my thesis. I did use this suggestion
-I also tend to list things out apposed to having words "flow" so I wanted to make sure I could get enough transition sentences in the paper.
The criticism was that it was "hoppy" ;). I did take time to try to connect the paragraph a lot better.
-I used one of my peers papers to make sure I formatted mine right. I hate Apple's word processing application, "Pages". The fact that I couldn't just click a box and trust that my paper is formatted right was a headache.
I used all of my peers suggestions.
I changed a lot of my paper on my own. I used more defining words, and tried to fix run on sentences. I spent more time building supporting sentences. I rearranged paragraphs to help the "flow"... I also ended up putting my description of the cartoon in the paper, as suggested.
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